What's the name of that Nirvana song? "I Hate Myself and Want To Die"? Yeah, that's it...
The title of this song are the only words to describe what I put myself through when I decided to run the Rudolph's Rampage Trail Half Marathon...
Dear friends... Dear, dear friends... I have made several bad decisions in my life... probably enough to account for more than one person's allotment of bad decisions... I have been close to death and/or incarceration on numerous occasions because of bad decisions (most of which were made in college, but I digress)... I have put my life at risk by texting while driving, running the occasional red light (moreso now that I live in a city where it's near expected of you to run red lights), and pushing the envelope by drinking milk that's past its expiration date... Sometimes, you just gotta live life on the edge...
But nothing... I repeat, NOTHING, prepared me for the sufferfest that was the 2012 Rudolph's Rampage Trail Half Marathon, held out at the Harbison State Forest just outside of Columbia...
I'm not even sure where to begin... I could tell you about being reduced to walking on numerous occasions, most notable about .10mi from the finish line... I could tell you about my knees hurting so bad that I thought they were going to explode... I could tell you about the exquisite sense of failure that I experienced around mile 10 when I knew my race was done... No... I won't tell you any of that... I'll tell you the good stuff...
Like I mentioned in my post about the Turkey Trot, I let Keith Ellis talk me into running this one... Actually, he didn't talk me into it... all he had to do was sign up... I find it much easier to blame these things on him, but really, it's all on me...
This all goes back to the Prickly Pear Trail Race that I did when I was in Montana in May... I really fell in love with trail running, and really, with being in the woods in general... When I moved to Columbia, I quickly found Harbison State Forest, bought a season pass, and started exploring the trails... I did a couple of trail runs out there, which I loved, so I figured that RR would just be a longer trail run and that all I had to do is just slow my pace down and run it for the experience... (Which I did until about mile 10)...
Trail running is hard... it's hard on the/my body for a litany of reasons... First, it's never flat... there are a million tiny elevation changes that literally keep you on your toes during your entire run... Next, it's a trail... there are millions of ways to trip, fall, skid out, and generally just hurt yourself... so, your eyes are always down on the trail, never scanning more than a couple feet in front of you (at least that's how I do it)... Finally, holding pace (for me) is nearly impossible... I had read something before the race that said you can expect to go between 10-20% slower on trails than on the road... Although I had a pretty good idea they were right, I know for certain now that they were 110% dead on...
I had been clicking off long runs of 90+mins prior to the race, so I felt like I was fit enough to run a Half, but only if I choked way back on my pace and was smart about fueling... I guess I was a little too confident...
The night before the race, I went to a tacky Christmas party and decided to drink some beer... and not really eat much for dinner... that little voice in the back of my head kept telling me, "This is dumb... you need to be at home in bed", but I kept telling that voice to shut up, because I haven't been invited to do stuff like this since moving here, and making friends is still a priority for me... In the end, the little voice was right...
Race morning: it's a bit chilly outside, and I figured it'd be even colder once we got in the woods under the canopy of treetops... Decided to not really do much of a warmup since the race was just going to be a "finish" race for me and I wasn't terribly worried about loosening up before the race... Keith and I did do a short jog, but nothing to (in my opinion) do much in the way of warming up enough for 13.1 miles...
The race itself is about what you would expect for a trail race... horribly disorganized, sparse communication, and really just held together with duct tape and prayers... We started out at the gazebo at HSF, which marked the start and end of the two loop course...
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| Seems simple enough right? |
Here's sorta how the race went...
The 10k folks go off 5 minutes before the Half Marathon crew... I knew Keith was going to floor it, so I resolved to stick to the back of the pack with Nikki and one of their friends... Our race starts and I quickly find my stride, averaging about 10:00/mi for the first 4 miles... Dropped a bit on miles 5 and 6, which was expected based on the trail we were running (Midlands Mountain trail has a lot of steep climbs and switchbacks)...
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| Elevation map... Doesn't seem like much, but holy hell... |
I felt like I dialed back a LOT on the first lap... posted up a 10k'ish split of about 1:05, which I felt was very conservative and very smart for this race... I knew the last 3 miles were going to be the toughest, because we had to run Midlands Mountain trail again, so I knew to just taaaaaake it easy to save enough legs for that section of the course...
It didn't go as planned...
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| *shakes head* |
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| Just as the race was starting... less than a mile in... |
I dropped back at one point to pee and knew that I'd probably not see Nikki again until the finish, which I was completely fine with... I was also starting to feel my feet getting pretty gnarled up... I was sweating buckets (probably from the beer the night before) and could just feel my body shutting down... I struggled through the majority of the second lap, but when I hit mile 10, it all went to hell... I could barely manage to keep my legs moving, my breathing was getting labored, and I was getting light headed... Meltdown imminent... prepare escape pods...
But fuck, I'm out in the woods...
The only way to DNF this race was to... well, shit, ... there really wasn't a way to DNF it since there was next to no support on the course and no way to just sit down until a pace car/support vehicle arrived... Decided to just keep moving as best as possible to avoid utter embarrassment at the finish line... That too didn't end up well either...
I walked... a lot... I was mad... a lot... I was defeated... a lot... the Trail had gotten me... I was weak, physically, mentally, and in spirit... My HR was sky high, so I'd walk for a minute or two, then try to jog a little... This made for an excruciating last two miles...
But I finished... In a dismal 2:18:05, I finished THE most painful race of my endurance sports career..
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| Looking derpy as fuck... |
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| Crushed... |
I know that not every race will be a PR... But I also know that not every race should be a soul crushing defeat... Rudolph's Rampage taught me a few things...
1. Don't skip dinner the night before a race, no matter how much you think you're ok
2. Don't drink more than 1 beer the night before a race, no matter how cold it is and no matter how much you think you're ok
3. Don't stay up late the night before a race, no matter how much you think you're ok
4. Don't be fucking dumb
5. See #4
What's super frustrating is that RR was about .20 short of an actual 13.1... So not only did I fall to pieces with a 10:40/mi pace, I did so on a short course... Wow...
It's good to have a race like this once in a while to remind you that you can't outsmart your body... I learned, again, that if I am to take racing seriously, then I need to take training seriously again too... Which means going back to the monk-like lifestyle that I lead during the training for the first half marathon I did back in 2010... With a full 26.2 on the horizon, I can't afford not to...
Rudolph's Rampage was a teaching race...
It taught me that I'm still susceptible to being chewed up and spit out by any race I do... I guess I got a little cocky at the end of last season with 2 division wins...
Time to get humble again...
Thanks for reading...
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