A while back, my coach sent me this link from David Goggins' blog... Goggins is a total badass: Navy SEAL, raced in Kona (was a special interest story in 2008), the whole thing...
I haven't quite yet "had" to agree with Goggins' thoughts in this particular blog until now... Go ahead and read and I'll explain...
"All that being said, I am not referring to my heart when I talk about the things I must overcome. All my life I have been tested. Mentally, and physically. I can't say emotionally because I honestly don't think I have many emotions left. Most of you can relate to what I am about to talk about. It seems sometimes that no matter how hard you work things or people continuously get in your way. I want to answer some questions that I have gotten over the last several months. People seem to assume that my job in the SEALs is to be an athlete. That is not the case at all. While I have a few, or should I say, very few, people that support my personal goals such as RAAM, the truth is that I work a full time job. In order to train for these events I do it on my own time. I generally wake up around 3 am to get a ride in before work, and then will ride to and from work during the week, followed by extra miles on my way home. Without giving away my full training schedule, let's just say, I don't sleep much, definitely don't eat enough, and any free time I may think I'm going to have is spent on the bike. I'm telling you this because it is not easy to achieve anything personally or professionally by depending on other people. Nine times out of ten, you are alone. Alone in your mind, alone at your desk, alone in your wants and needs. People are not going to understand your goals because they have separate goals. It's not easy to do things alone. You must deviate from the crowd. This is why it is easier to go for a run with people. It's much easier when you know that someone is out there suffering with you. You can't look over and see that when you are suffering alone. But let me tell you... you are alone. You are alone when you cross the finish line, you are alone when you do extra miles, you are alone when you don't get the promotion at work. You are alone. When you can learn to deal with being alone and not depend on the support of others, you become a stronger human being. I have always been alone in the things I've done. You have to expect failure, if you don't when I comes your way, you will not be able to get back up.
I have read countless blogs, articles, and talked to several people who don't think I really hate doing the things I do. And to be blunt about it... It pisses me off. I have never taken the easy way. I have had to fail several times before I succeed at something, and sometimes it was at no fault of my own. But I run, bike, all of the above because I hate it. By hating it and doing it I grow. I know that people will never understand that, but that is the way I live my life. Why choose something you like to do? Because it's fun? How do you grow as a person by doing fun things? You grow by testing yourself, by testing your mind to go where it doesn't want to go. If you take the easy road, you get easy results. You don't expect anything out of yourself. If you take the hard road,and you make yourself get through it, you will expect more out of your everyday life. If you don't achieve and let people keep you down, you will stay down. Not me... I choose to get back up. I choose to look the unwanted in the face. I choose to go after the unwanted with a smile. I choose to suffer. And from suffering I grow.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying don't have any fun. But this blog and what I say has nothing to do with fitness, has nothing to do with obesity, has nothing to do with winning, has nothing to do with running or biking. It's about life. The bottom line is this, when you get knocked down and when life comes at you from all different angles, take time to reset get back up and smile. Life doesn't like when it can't keep you down, especially when you smile back at it." (
http://davidgoggins.blogspot.com/2010/03/get-back-up.html)
I mean, how can you not want to hop on the bike after reading this?
"...do all of the above because I hate it. By hating it and doing it I grow."
Here recently, I've had to dig deep to make myself swim, ride, run, and eat right... It's been way (WAAAY) too easy to use school as an excuse (and believe me, I do) because it's one that everyone buys... Not to say that I abuse using school as a ticket to get out of training, but towards the end of the semester, I put all my energy, time, and focus into school and writing, trying to learn and grow as an academic.... And this brings me to my point....
I hate it... But I'm growing... I hate having to put school over training and racing (had to punt on two races because of school), but I know that in the long run, training and racing will be there---the chance to get my Ph.d. will not (at least, not in my time frame)...
I hate being the FILO (First In, Last Out) in the office, I hate coming in late at night, on Saturdays, and on Sundays to read and write, but I do it... It's funny to think how triathlon and training has taught me persistence in my academic pursuits...
I wish I could say the same about training... The school year is officially done (waiting on grades) and I'm slowly getting back to a detailed schedule of workouts... I've been getting frustrated because I am nowhere close to where I was 2 months ago--I've gone backwards... My avg. run pace has increased by 20-40 seconds (depending on the time of day I run), my swim is slower, and being on the bike for any more than an hour to an hour and a half is sheer torture... I am out of shape.... bad..... and it pisses me off....
Back in January, when I started looking to race at Age Group Nationals, I was jazzed that Clydesdales don't have to qualify, then thought it would be cool to register as a clyde, then lose a ton of weight and not be a clyde anymore by raceday.... I haven't weighed in quite a while, but I can tell I've put on some pounds since dialing back on training... It's been a series of compromises: I compromised school early in the semester by focusing on training for Mercedes, so school is biting back and making me compromise training in the latter half of the semester..... I guess that's what they call karma?
So, as I'm getting back to training, I'm hating that too.... Running kills me now, and it pisses me off that only 2 months ago, I was killing long runs every Sunday and feeling great... I haven't done a long run in at least a month and feel so guilty about it I can't even begin to explain... I miss being in that shape, and yes, I know it'll come back, but it doesn't mean I can't be frustrated in the meantime!
All in all, I used Goggins as a frame for what I've been going through the last month or so... I hate school, but know that I am growing from it.... I hate training, but know that I am growing from it.... The summer is creeping in and I'm excited to see where it takes me...
No comments:
Post a Comment